


Fair Trade

by wneleh



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mensa, Community: mensa_au, Episode: s03e08 McKay and Mrs. Miller, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-07
Updated: 2013-07-07
Packaged: 2017-12-18 00:04:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/873437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wneleh/pseuds/wneleh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Rod bond during S3's "McKay and Mrs. Miller."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fair Trade

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: written for mongognom as part of the spring 2008 [Mensa_AU](http://community.livejournal.com/mensa_au) fic exchange. As such, it owes much to the SGA S3 episode "McKay and Mrs. Miller," written by Martin Gero and Carl Binder. Direct quotes, shown in italics, were taken from the transcript by AthenaKKT, as housed at Abydos Gate.
> 
> Prompt: "This Rodney knew more about 'him' than anyone he could think of."

Fair Trade

by Helen W.

_During "McKay and Mrs. Miller..._

_SHEPPARD: Sorry to interrupt, kids. You need to pack your toothbrush and head back to Earth._

_McKAY: I do? Why?_

_SHEPPARD: Carter needs help._

_McKAY: With what?_

_SHEPPARD: Your sister._

John really doesn't like the idea of Rodney heading to Earth, and tries to convince Elizabeth to just say no, but it's obvious that she's only listening to him because it's easier than kicking him out of her office. But the truth is, they really don't need Rodney on Atlantis at the moment, and Carter says she needs him in Colorado, end of discussion. Elizabeth can't guarantee that they won't have some emergency that only Rodney will be able to get them out of sometime during the next month, but John can't guarantee that they will, and Elizabeth and the SGC win.

So John's a little pissed already when he tracks Rodney down; and then Rodney looks at him like John's sending him to Earth just for the fun of it, because draining the ZPM is one of John's hobbies. Hell, the SGC could be calling Rodney in because he's finally won a Nobel Prize like he's always talking about; or he could be the last hope of humanity or something. Anyway, it's pretty much a given that John isn't the one giving orders here.

But the look on Rodney's face when John says, "Your sister," is priceless, and might almost be worth losing him for a month.

\- - - - - - - - -

Still, it's a long month. Nothing goes horribly wrong, but that means John has nothing much that he really has to do. Lorne won't let him near the paperwork, and the marines have their own chain of command and don't need (or want) him more deeply involved. The airmen, mostly pilots, require some care and feeding, but, again, Lorne has them pretty busy, alternating flight training with work in the science department, using their various degrees.

With things stable, Teyla heads to the mainland for a couple of weeks with Carson and some of the marines to work on some infrastructure and public health projects. John considers joining them - driving the little Bobcat backhoe could be fun - but while Teyla's one of his favorite people in the universe, she's just different when she's with her people, in a way that makes John not really know how to talk to her.

Ronon, however, is always Ronon, so when he decides to take advantage of their downtime and go looking for Satedans John tags along for a couple of trips through the gate. They don't find anyone, don't learn anything new, and after the second bust trip Ronon tells John he'd rather go alone. John wonders if Ronon just wants to be able to get drunk or laid or something without his boss watching. And he wonders when he became that kind of boss.

After a day mainlining the recent Star Wars movies (and really, really wishing he had someone to share the snark with), John decides to pretend he's prepping to jog a marathon, which ends when his left knee starts to kill him. He needs that knee, so switches to working on his driver swing and iron game. And wondering how to go about anchoring stationary buoys off his favorite tee every 20 yards or so. If he could get the attention of one of the ocean engineers he's sure they could work something out pretty quickly; but they always cut him off when he starts to sound them out, running off to make sure they don't sink or something.

Elizabeth and Biro play chess with him when he asks nicely, but they're both busy people. And Biro is, let's face it, a little weird, even for John's friends.

The one conversation he strikes up with Miko ends when she shows him the notebook full of sonnets written "To my brilliant one, brave, handsome, and unknowing," and "He who makes e'en wild subspace tremble." "Radek will love these," John teases, and Miko bursts into tears, crying, "I miss him so much!" and runs away.

As for Radek - he's beyond busy, preparing for when McKay and his sister arrive. Apparently the mysterious Jeannie McKay has grudgingly agreed to give them a few weeks of her time, and they don't want her sitting around waiting. Plus, the sooner they can recharge ZPMs, the better, though John has no reason to believe that this experiment will lead to huge breakthroughs. Radek spends the weeks the Daedalus is in transit talking in grunts. John tries to keep up with the physics, and attends all the meetings he gets invites to; but he suspects that there are ones happening that aren't showing up on Outlook.

And so he reads a few more pages of "War and Peace" - he's kind of afraid that, if he ever finishes it, the universe will explode - and plows through some Brin and E. O. Wilson's latest. Works yet more on his golf swing.

Finally, the Daedalus makes orbit.

_WEIR: Has he talked about his sister with you?_

_SHEPPARD: Yeah, once or twice in passing. Usually like "Come on, even my sister can do it." You know, that type of thing._

Sheppard's actually thought a lot about Jeannie McKay/Miller/whatever over the past couple of years, ever since he previewed the recording McKay made when they were preparing to be attacked by the Wraith. A guy as messed up as Rodney McKay has to have come from some major dysfunction, John reasons, and he's always figured that Jeannie must have played some part in it. Maybe she was the perfect little sister that absorbed all the attention Rodney's cold, demanding parents had in them. Or maybe she was a decade or two older, essentially a third parent who helped force-feed Rodney calculus in the cradle.

He's always assumed she was secretly, or not-so-secretly, jealous of her brother's genius, and he'd been more surprised than he'd care to admit when he'd found out she was some sort of physicist too, with accomplishments of her own.

_JEANNIE: Holy cow! Now that can't be good for you._

_SHEPPARD: Nothing to worry about. I've done it dozens of times. John Sheppard._

_McKAY: She's married, and she's my sister._

_SHEPPARD: I'm just saying Hi._

_McKAY: Yeah, I know. I know exactly what you are doing. I've seen that look before. Kirk._

And isn't that nice? He's been - well, to say he'd been 'missing Rodney' would be overly dramatic. Looking forward to Rodney's return, life getting back to normal, and, hell, to having Rodney around. And he'd been prepared to defend Rodney - though he hadn't quite worked out how - from whatever sort of monster Jeannie turned out to be.

And then Rodney assumes he's after her. How could Rodney get him so completely wrong?

_WEIR: Hello, Mrs. Miller. I'm Doctor Elizabeth Weir. Welcome to Atlantis._

_JEANNIE: Thank you, Mer has told me so much about you._

_SHEPPARD: Aw, good I sup-- Did you just call him Mer?_

_McKAY: It's a pet name. Where are we?_

Yup, dysfunctional. Got it in one.

\- - - - - -

John tries to catch up with Rodney a few times - "Hey, how's Earth? Bring me anything?" - but Rodney's in super-focused mode, the most single-minded John's seen him when death hasn't been on the line, and brushes past him without even acknowledging he's standing there. Finally John hears that the experiment is underway and everyone's just waiting to see what happens, so he heads to Rodney's lab and finds him staring at his screen saver. Flying toasters.

"Where's your sister?" John asks.

"She went to bed."

John checks the wall clock - it's only going-on-5. "Up for a little chess?"

"What has Jeannie told you about that?"

"I'm just TRYING to welcome you back," John says.

"Well, if I'm in need of brainless amusement I'll come find you, Colonel, but right now I'm busy."

In his experience, the Daedalus syncs up with Atlantis time during the transit between galaxies, which means that, even if Rodney's being cranky, Jeannie might appreciate knowing the whens and wheres of dinner. So John finds out where Jeannie's being housed - Guest Quarters 1, who'd have thunk it? - and stops by. Jeannie opens the door, and - well, she still doesn't look beastly. Just normal, like most of the scientists on Atlantis.

"Want to meet the gang?" he asks. "It's chow time."

Teyla and Ronon are both in the city, so John scoops them up and they all head to dinner.

They end up stretching the meal to a couple of hours. John doesn't really mean it to, but it turns into a kind of Rodney roast, minus the roastee. There's just so much he doesn't know about Rodney - heh, Meredith - despite how much they've been through, so many gaps Jeannie can fill. And it turns out Rodney'd managed to annoy Teyla and Ronon that afternoon as well, so they also both eagerly pump Jeannie for stories, and share their own.

_McKAY: What is this?_

_SHEPPARD: Hey! Meredith!_

_McKAY: Aw, wonderful._

_JEANNIE: John here was kind enough to show me around, offer me a warm meal, and introduce me to some of your friends._

You know, us, the people you don't bother to talk to, John thinks.

_McKAY: What have you told them?_

_SHEPPARD: We weren't talking about you._

_McKAY: Oh, you weren't?_

_TEYLA: No, we where discussing many things._

_SHEPPARD: Now when the issue of bedwetting happened to come up, she may have mentioned something about your childhood._

_McKAY: That is not true!_

_DEX: Relax. We all have embarrassing childhood stories._

_SHEPPARD: Of course, we do._

_DEX: There was one time the schoolboys made me eat lunch with my underwear on my head._

_McKAY: Oh._

_DEX: Oh, wait, that was you._

_McKAY: Oh. Hardy har har. And this is revenge for what exactly?_

_JEANNIE: You don't even know, do you?_

Meaning this was a set-up on Jeannie's part? She'd actually planned to trash Rodney to his friends? John decides Jeannie just might be as screwed up as Rodney after all.

_WEIR: [on communicator] Colonel Sheppard and Doctor McKay to the isolation room immediately._

_McKAY: Isolation room? Come on._

Saved by the bell... For some very problematic value of "saved."

\- - - - - - - -

_SHEPPARD: What do you mean he "appeared"?_

_WEIR: Out of thin air. I have Zelenka working on it. Obviously, we shut down the project._

_SHEPPARD: How did he get in there?_

_WEIR: He claims to be from a parallel universe._

_JEANNIE: You said the odds against this were astronomical._

_McKAY: You saw the math!_

_JEANNIE: Well, we got it wrong._

_McKAY: Yeah, well, he's here now so the question is what does he want?_

_WEIR: To talk to you._

_McKAY: All right, you want shared credit? You're coming in with me._

_JEANNIE: Wai-_

It goes against his instincts to let Rodney and his sister go face-to-face in the isolation room with - whateverthehell, whoever that guy is. If he's really some alternate universe McKay he probably is safe enough. Scratch that, they have no way of knowing that, even if he is some alternate McKay, he's not a psycho or an assassin or who knows what. And he could be many other things - a replicator, for starters. Even if he's not an Asuran, it's a big universe.

But it's not John's job to stop Rodney from doing his, so he'll just have to watch.

_SHEPPARD: This is weird._

_ROD: So Sheppard and I came up with a plan to beam person into the anomaly. Where they were be protected by an Ancient personal force field that we discovered._

_McKAY: I depleted ours._

_JEANNIE: Still, it was an incredible risk._

_ROD: Well, it was Sheppard's idea._

A leader in every universe, of course.

\- - - - - -

John's not absolutely on board with letting Rod - the alternate Rodney - out of the isolation room, but Elizabeth thinks he's harmless.

John's not even happy with letting Jeannie Miller wander freely. Security? On Atlantis? What's that?

And let's leave Rod and Jeannie together, chatting over baby pictures? Sure, why the hell not.

On the other hand - if Rodney McKay - his Rodney Mckay - were to end up in some other universe, John hopes there'd be an alternate him there to make sure he didn't get dissected or something.

_McKAY: All right, what's the game plan here?_

_SHEPPARD: Put him up here in the guest quarters until we get him something more permanent._

_McKAY: Something more permanent?! Well, we're not keeping him._

_SHEPPARD: Well, he can't go back._

_McKAY: Well, it doesn't mean he has to stay here._

_SHEPPARD: He said he rather be on Atlantis than on Earth._

_McKAY: Oh, I see. So he gets his way and I don't?_

_SHEPPARD: How can you not want to be with him? He's you._

_McKAY: He's not me! I'm me! The real me!_

The real McCoy-I-mean-McKay. John thinks that's pretty funny.

_SHEPPARD: I suppose it's all relative. To Rod his reality is every bit as valid as ours. To him we're the imposters._

_McKAY: What does Elizabeth have to say about all of this?_

_SHEPPARD: Two McKays are better than one._

_McKAY: There aren't two McKays! There's one McKay and him._

_SHEPPARD: Whatever you say, Meredith._

And that NEVER gets old.

\- - - - - - -

John sleeps poorly; it's hard to rest well when you almost destroyed a universe the day before. Even though he'd really had nothing to do with it, he keeps reminding himself. He finally gets up with the sun, grabs a power bar, then heads out to his favorite tee. If he concentrates, he can turn the ocean into the 12th at Augusta. So he grabs his 9-iron - no, it's a little windy, so he trades it for a 7. Three hooks later, he's glad he's not playing the real thing; though a hook's safer than a slice here.

He hasn't been at it long when he hears Rodney say, "Colonel! Radek said you'd probably be out here. Something special about that 7-iron?"

Except it's not Rodney, it's Rod. God, that's going to be confusing for a while.

"I'm trying for 155 yards," John says. "I'm in water if I'm short, and there's a sand trap to the right of the green."

"Let's see... Winged Foot? Pebble Beach?"

"No, Augusta," says John. "12th hole. Par three."

"Yes, of course," says Rod. "The Golden Bell. A little beauty. Don't forget the rear bunkers."

"I just don't want to end up in Rae's Creek."

"Well, when it's windy like this, Jack Nicklaus says it's one of the most difficult par 3s in golf."

"Tiger agrees, I've heard. It's the way the wind swirls."

"Tiger?"

"Eldrick, maybe he's called?"

"There's an Eldrick Tiger on your PGA tour?"

John laughs as he puts his 7-iron back in his bag. "My friend," John says, "if you come from a place without Tiger Woods, you are going to love this universe."

Rod chuckles. "Maybe."

"Want a go?" John asks.

"Sure," says Rod. "Let's see - what's the best driving hole at Augusta. The 8th?"

"The Yellow Jasmine," says John. "Lengthened to 570 yards, some say just to Tiger-proof it, but I think making courses harder just separates him from the crowd even more."

"The Yellow Jasmine it is," says Rod. "As long as I hit it long and straight I should be fine. I just don't want my second shot to miss the green left."

"That's about what I remember," says John. "So you're going to try to reach in two?"

"Let's see what I can do."

Rod tees up and swings.

_SHEPPARD: Nice shot. Easily 275. You know, I've been meaning to put up a buoy marker, but who has the time, huh?_

Not those blasted engineers. But if Rod and I both work on them... or do the job ourselves...

_ROD: This is great. We don't have one of these where I'm from. Besides, you need to take a cattle prod to get the Sheppard I know to get him up this early._

_SHEPPARD: Late nights partying, huh?_

He swings; damn, another hook.

_ROD: If you could call it that. He's uh... very active with the Mensa club we have there. They have a lot of functions._

Functions? E-to-the-x, dy, dx, e-to-the-x dx... Pep band cheers, they come at you at the oddest times...

_SHEPPARD: Well, you can't blame a man for his intelligence._

_ROD: No, but I can blame him for reminding me all the time._

_SHEPPARD: He doesn't._

_ROD: Hm. Trust me. My Sheppard makes your Rodney seem... uh... modest in comparison._

_SHEPPARD: Well, I gotta admit. Between you and me, you're a lot different than our Rodney too._

_ROD: How so?_

_SHEPPARD: It's the little things. Uh... You like golf. You "please" and "thank you". You're um... What's the opposite of condescending?_

_ROD: Now. I can help you with that hook._

Like every other instructor John's ever had, Rod says the problem is in John's wrists. Yeah, he's got to keep them locked, yada yada yada. But then Rod starts talking about planes and angles and force, and John hits his 3-iron as straight as a knife through butter.

This, John thinks, is what he's been needing for God-knows how long - someone who gets that John uses his brain as much as his gut. He's got plenty of friends here, of course - people he'd die for, who'd die for him. But to half of them - and he'd even include Teyla in this group - he's a simpleton, and to the other half there's just a bit too much of "The Man" in how they see him. It's as if they don't get past their notion of what he's supposed to be; as if they don't know him, really, at all.

It was sad, maybe, but this Rodney seemed to know him, know more about him and the kind of stuff he was into, than anyone he could think of. Got him automatically, like nobody else ever had.

The universe worked in mysterious ways.

"Okay, enough for now," says Rod. "They serving hot breakfast yet? I'm supposed to mean Jeannie at 8."

\- - - - - - - -

_McKAY: What the hell is this?_

_ROD: Hey, sleepyhead._

_McKAY: Yeah, hi._

_ROD: I had a breakfast date with Jeannie, and I guess it ballooned into group affair. Look, sit down we're tracing back our lives, trying to find the little differences in our past._

_TEYLA: Rod is an honorary member of the Athosian council._

_JEANNIE: And a godfather to his niece and nephews._

_McKAY: Yes, how wonderful for him._

_ROD: Well, it's easier for me. Our Earth has a ZedPM too so it makes back and forth a lot simpler._

_ZELENKA: [on communicator] Doctors McKay please report to the containment chamber. Doctors McKay?_

_McKAY and ROD: Excuse me._

_DEX: Hey, Rod, are we still on sparring later?_

_ROD: Absolutely._

John watches them leave. His best friend and his - what, new best friend? That will really piss Rodney off, if he ever notices.

\- - - - - - -

John's sitting on his bed using his old toothbruth (now that he's got a new supply thanks to the Daedalus) to clean his golf clubs, and wondering when to schedule an afternoon of driving balls with Rod and maybe Jinto near the Athosian village, when McKay buzzes and lets himself in.

_McKAY: He's slowing me down._

_SHEPPARD: Really? I though the two of you would have sped things up._

_McKAY: Yeah, he's not me._

_SHEPPARD: I know he's not he same person, trust me. I'm just saying he's a genius too, isn't he?_

_McKAY: Unless he's lying._

_SHEPPARD: Well, what?_

_McKAY: What if the people in his Atlantis were sick of him messing up all the time, huh? So when it came time to send some stooge on a one-way ticket to another universe, there was only one guy they could do without._

_SHEPPARD: Say what you want. I know what this is about._

_McKAY: Oh really? Mr. Mensa-in-a-parellel-universe, what is this all about?_

Sheppard wonders when Rod and McKay had time to discuss THAT little bit of trivia.

_SHEPPARD: You think Jeannie likes him more than you._

_McKAY: What? That's crazy. That's-- that's... that's possibly true._

_SHEPPARD: Hm?_

_McKAY: Jeannie and I drifted apart. I mean, that happens. I mean, it wasn't done maliciously. Do I have regrets? Yes, of course, I do. But who doesn't? I mean, you know, I'm not very good at saying I'm sorry or that I'm wrong. Now possibly because it happens so rarely._

_SHEPPARD: Um hm..._

Must... not... laugh...

_McKAY: So I didn't call or write, and when I realized it, four years had gone by it was just a... You're right! Of course, you're right! She has every reason to hate me._

_SHEPPARD: I didn't say she hates you._

_McKAY: Well, she should._

_SHEPPARD: Well, if you insist._

_McKAY: Yeah, I do._

_SHEPPARD: Well then, fair enough._

_ZELENKA: [on radio] Doctor McKay to the containment chamber. Doctor McKay._

_McKAY: Good talk, thanks._

Rodney might not know a thing about him, John muses, but he knows a thing or three about Rodney!

John puts away his clubs, then calls Chuck. "Anything up I should be involved in? If I wait for an update from McKay we might have destroyed a few other universes in the meantime."

"Yes, sir," Chuck replies. "Meeting in 15 minutes in the main conference room. Um, sir, you're on the invite list."

"Just checking," says Sheppard.

\- - - - - - - - -

It turns out, the universe destroyed might be their own, courtesy Rod's people.

_ROD: Now I'm not saying their attempt would be successful, but if it was we flood the exotic particles that have been created on their side into this space time all at once._

_SHEPPARD: And that would uh..._

_JEANNIE: Be bad._

_SHEPPARD: Right, I got that. But uh..._

_WEIR: How bad?_

_McKAY: Well, to be honest, the science gets extremely complicated, but um... simply put. The tear will eventually swallow up the entire galaxy. It's possible the universe._

_SHEPPARD: So... very bad._

_McKAY: Well, I think we can all agree that would be very bad. Yes._

_ROD: Their plan will take six hours to implement._

_WEIR: I suggest we do something before that._

_ROD: Well, we have an idea._

_McKAY: Actually, Jeannie has an idea._

_JEANNIE: Uh... We think can collapse the bridge with a massive burst of energy from this side._

_ROD: And stop the creation of exotic particles on the other side by doing so._

_SHEPPARD: How massive a burst are we talking?_

_McKAY: Everything we've go. I mean enough to severely deplete our ZedPM._

_WEIR: So instead of creating a new powerful energy source, we'll be sacrificing the one we already have._

_McKAY: Yes, I mean, we'll still be able to dial Earth, but much less frequently, of course. And let's just say I wouldn't want to be around here if the Wraith show up._

_SHEPPARD: I don't see that we have a choice._

_WEIR: All right, do it._

\- - - - - - - -

And then, as quickly as he'd appeared, Rod's gone. And John had never gotten to show him his tapes of Tiger winning the 1997 Masters by 12 shots or the 2000 Open at St. Andrews. And that's been bothering him - not losing Rod himself, but losing the potential friend who might give a damn about the stuff John cared about.

They were a bunch of screwed up people, weren't they, looking to connect with someone from another universe when they couldn't with the pretty extraordinary people they had in this one.

Well, maybe he could help a little.

John does a quick check of his hard-drive - yeah, it's there - and heads to Jeannie's quarters.

_McKAY: [on video] Jeannie, it's your brother Rodney. I wanna say... family is important. I've come to realize that because the people here become a sort of kind of surrogate family to me. Now I know what you're thinking. I've never really been the poster child for that kind of sentiment, but when-- when one's contemplating one's own demise; one tends to see things more clearly. I really do wish you the best, you know. And I'm sorry we weren't closer. Perhaps um... if by chance I make it out of this, perhaps one day we can be. And I would like that. Now... If there's time I'd like to-_

John stops the playback.

_JEANNIE: When did he record this?_

_SHEPPARD: A couple years back. When we thought the bad guys were gonna get us._

_JEANNIE: Now I've seen three sides of my brother._

_SHEPPARD: Yeah._

John's wondering if there's more he should tell Jeannie - 'Actually, your brother's pretty heroic when he has to be' or 'I hope you've picked up that we actually like him here, most of the time.' Or maybe now's the time to ask why Rodney's so non-excellent at chess, given how smart he is and how often he plays; but Rodney comes in.

_McKAY: What are you two up to?_

_SHEPPARD: Nothing. Just uh... telling stories about you, you know. Trying to help her fall asleep._

_McKAY: Ha ha ha._

_SHEPPARD: I'll leave you guys alone._

\- - - - - - - -

John has some last-minute work to do in preparation for the Daedalus's departure; being more cut off from Earth has its complications, nothing they haven't dealt with before fortunately. But he's in the gate room for the final beam-up, bidding good-bye to Jeannie and the others heading back to Earth, mostly marines and airmen finishing their tours.

Jeannie and Rodney face each other until Jeannie shimmers away.

"Hey, McKay," John starts, but Rodney leaves quickly, without acknowledging him.

John wonders what it would be like to watch his older brother beam away. The emotional weight release would probably raise the city a foot. But he's not Rodney, and Jeannie sure-the-hell isn't David.

\- - - - - - -

John heads to his office to look over the files of the new marines and airmen that had come out with the Daedalus. He's impressed, as usual. The services didn't skimp when it came to supporting Atlantis.

He's just about ready for a break when Teyla enters. "We need to talk," she says. "I fear Dr. McKay may be more injured by this week's events than we have made allowances for."

"Rod's gone," John says. "And a lot of people here have family other places. Everyone deals."

"John." Why did Teyla say 'talk' if she meant 'stare at him reprovingly'?

"Okay, so we might have been a little mean to him," John says. "He's McKay. It's what we do."

"It doesn't have to be the only thing we do," Teyla says.

"Yeah, okay," says John. He checks his laptop - it's not even eleven yet, but McKay grabs meals on the early side. "I have an idea. Meet you in the mess hall in ten minutes."

Teyla nods. "I'll contact Ronon."

\- - - - - - - - -

_SHEPPARD: [whispering] Here he comes._

_McKAY: Am I just not getting the team e-mails anymore?_

_SHEPPARD: Take it easy. We're just talking about Rod._

_McKAY: Oh yes, well of course you are._

_TEYLA: Do you think he made it back to his universe?_

_McKAY: Well, it's hard to say really, but I doubt he'll be back though._

_SHEPPARD: That's good. We found him a little uh... creepy._

_McKAY: What?_

_DEX: Yeah, I can't stand people who are nice all the time; makes me feel like they're trying to hide something._

_McKAY: Really?_

_TEYLA: He kept trying to correct me on my Athosian history. It grew tiresome very quickly._

_McKAY: Well, he wasn't really that bad._

_SHEPPARD: Well, let's be honest. Rod was annoying._

_McKAY: Well, I'll be honest with you, its kind a nice to hear. Now._

McKay sits.

_McKAY: What else has been happening?_

_SHEPPARD: Well, Teyla's got the hots for one of the new marines._

Teyla, of course, kicks him.

_SHEPPARD: Ow!_

_TEYLA: That is not true!_

_DEX: You know it is._

_McKAY: I hardly knew either..._

So he's lost Rod but gotten Rodney back, John muses. And, really, it's not such a bad trade.

* * * THE END * * *




**Author's Note:**

> The info on Augusta, including the quotes from Nichlaus and Woods, is from [fatpat](http://www.fatpat.com/fatpat.htm)'s [Augusta National Golf Club pages](http://www.fatpat.com/software/personal/augusta/). Everything about hooks and slices and such is from [KeepMyGolfScore.com 19th Hole Golf Blog](http://www.keepmygolfscore.com/blog/), particularly the article [How to Cure a Hook - Start With Your Wrists](http://www.keepmygolfscore.com/blog/golf-hook-cure-wrist-action.html).


End file.
